I had an epiphany tonight. It's an epiphany I've had before, but I guess maybe it hasn't really sunk in. It came to me tonight when we were watching, of all things, the show Sister Wives. (Which I love by the way. This epiphany inspired a blog about the show too.) So, here it is: I am who I am. If you don't like me for that person then I don't need you in my life. It makes sense. It's how more people should live. I think a lot more people would be a lot less stressed out. Besides, the people judging you are being judged in the same fashion as they are judging.
It doesn't work for everything, obviously. There are things you can do that people absolutely shouldn't like you for, and things that very much are your problem, not theirs. For example, a child molester can't say "I am who I am and if you don't like it then eff you." That's a whole other ball game and not what I'm talking about at all. And if I am being a horrible, cruel, witch, I expect people to judge me for that too. But there are so many petty reasons out there that people use to hate each other and use as some justification to judge one another, and I'm getting sick of it.
It's especially bothering me when people use their religion as an excuse to judge. Like some self righteous shield to hide behind. "I can judge you because I'm Christian." For someone who has struggled to find their spiritual path as I have, knowing those people who walk around with their nose in the air feeling like they have a free pass to talk about you because they have always been a part of their little church society doesn't make it any easier to find that comfortable place with God. (Poor God. He really gets represented by some sour apples down here on Earth, which makes it that much harder for some people to find Him even when they want to...that's a whole other blog though.)
Anyways, I am digressing. I'm bad at that. My point is, that it is part of our nature as humans to judge. I do it. In some cases we need to. (Again, the child molester example.) However, no one gets a free pass to judge over petty things, especially not because you are a Christian. In fact, the Bible is pretty clear on not judging people. While your pointing a finger at them, there are four more pointing back at you after all.
And, if you are going to judge, you had best be prepared to hold yourself up to those same standards. Don't sit around talking about how Betty Sue is such a horrible gossip and always has her nose in the business of everyone else when you're sitting around with your friends sipping on wine and verbally tearing apart all these people you know. (Besides, talking about people behind their back is just immature and tacky...but that again is a whole other blog post...and yes, I know I'm judging, but it's also something I try very hard not to do.) It's not only hypocritical and pretty darn snotty, but you have someone watching and judging you just as harshly as you are judging others.
Anyways, all this ranting brings me to this week's Scripture Sunday, which says close to the same thing I have said but with much more style and more to the point. God says everything better.
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."
Again, as I said, I judge. I judge like crazy. But I also try to hold myself up to the standards I judge others on. I fall woefully short often, but I am a work in progress. I am aware however, that I am being held to my own standards, and beyond, in God's eyes...and in the end, those are the only ones who matter. So, I'll let others judge me, and I might not always be fine with it. It bothers the hell out of me as a matter of fact. In the end, however, the only judge that matters isn't going to be judging me to a circle of friends over a glass of wine either.