Sunday, December 27, 2009

First First Christmas

Another Christmas come and gone, and it occurred to me as I watched people carry returns into Wal-Mart on Saturday that the reason for the season really has been lost on many. (I was there for some baby food and gloves...not to return anything. Of course, it would be kind of hard to return nothing...)

We are waiting to have Christmas until Hubby/Daddy is home from his deployment. After all, Christmas is just a day on the calendar. As Christians, we are supposed to celebrate Jesus every day...I am assuming that He won't mind if we celebrate his birthday on a day that differs from the general population. In fact, Jesus probably understands our motivation better than we do. After all, who better to know the pain we feel by being separated as a family than Him. He is supposed to know us better than anyone.

Of course, because it was Parker's first Christmas, I didn't feel that we could skip in entirely. After all, he only gets one first Christmas Day, and I only get one first Christmas as a Mommy. It was my first year to play Santa! So, our lucky son will get TWO First Christmases...How many children can claim that? What a lucky boy.

First First Christmas we celebrated on December 25th with the rest of the world. Not only was Daddy gone, but both of our families are back in Ohio, leaving Parker and I to celebrate alone. As depressing as it sounds, it was more enjoyable than I had dared to hope it could have been. I underestimated my son's ability to cheer up his Mommy. The lucky little boy got 2 presents on Christmas Eve, a pair of First Christmas PJs and a board book copy of The Night Before Christmas. He loves being read to, and curled up with me happily to listen. We then curled up together to watch How The Grinch Stole Christmas...which Mommy can recite almost perfectly. I apparently don't impress though, since Parker fell off to sleep about half way through. I nestled him all snug in his bed, though I have no idea if he dreamed of sugar plums. Probably not. It is much more likely that he had visions of puppies and balls dancing in his head than sugar plums.

Then I got to play Santa! Grandpa and Hootie and Great-Grandmama and Great-Grandpapa sent some gifts for our first, smaller Christmas, and Parker got to open one gift from Mommy and Daddy. (All the others are wrapped and put up for Second First Christmas) I wonder if Santa has some kind of magic that makes the milk cold again when he is done with all those presents...or maybe he eats them first. It didn't seem right to do it like that though...seemed like Santa should do the work before enjoying dessert. milk was warm by the time I got to it. I poured new milk, wondering if Santa does that too, and thinking how that just doesn't seem right. Any other night of the year if a magical fat man broke into your house and started raiding your fridge you'd be is it OK on Christmas Eve? And if so, WHY is it OK on Christmas Eve and no other night of the year?

I had treated myself to some new fuzzy socks for Christmas, so I put them on along with my Christmas PJs and watched television until I was tired enough to think I could go to bed without dwelling too much on the fact that I would be experiencing our first Christmas morning as a "family" with my husband half way around the world. It worked for the most part, and I fell asleep looking forward to the next day.

Parker was perfectly content to eat breakfast before presents...something I don't anticipate happening ever again. He was politely interested in the pile of brightly wrapped boxes that had appeared overnight under the tree, and he crawled over to investigate, stopping once or twice to glance at the singing Whos on TV. (We had the Grinch on again) Unwrapping took awhile. He wanted to eat the paper, then he would realize that there was a toy in there and would want to play with it...But it was so much fun getting to watch him figure out the present thing! What a perfect age for his first Christmas! AND, Daddy got to watch some of it on Web-Cam! So, even half way around the world, we were "together" for Parker's First Christmas.

We are blessed in out friends. Parker and I did not have to spend the entire day just the two of us. We were invited to go and spend the day with our friend Ivy and his family. They even had gifts for us! I would not have got through this holiday season without Ivy. We've been with him for both Thanksgiving and Christmas, and it has helped to make this time easier on both myself and Parker. Parker enjoys playing with his little boy, Trenton, and I get to have some adult conversation and not dwell on how very much I miss the other half of my soul. I hope that Parker and I have in some way managed to return the friendship and given them some of the joy they have given us.

And so, First First Christmas has come and gone, and I survived...which is more than I had thought I could do. I missed my husband so much, but I was still blessed in that I was experiencing my son's first Christmas! It is a day I can never have back, and I loved it! So many milestones happen so quickly when they are so small...and every single one is a blessing to my heart. Not long now until Michael should be home, and then we'll have Second First Christmas...and so much more!

I hope you all had a beautiful holiday and were as blessed in yours as I was in mine.

Thanks for reading.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

First Letters...First Words

I used to blog all the time. It was an outlet for me. Sometimes about life...and who doesn't need an outlet for life. Sometimes about my opinions, which tend to be harsh and unmoving where I have them. I always called those my Soapbox Blogs. Sometimes just to get the stories and thoughts that seem to always be swimming around in my head OUT.

I haven't written...REALLY months. Seems when I have needed it most is when I have stopped. I could say for lack of time and energy, which IS true, but I am finding more and more that is is important that I make the time. Even if it is only a few lines. I am missing my most used mode of self expression.

So here it is, my attempt at starting up something I need and love again. I can't begin to tell you what you might find here. My hopes and dreams. My rants. My might find one or all. If you read, thank you. If not, I don't blame you. If I don't want it tumbling around in my head I can more than understand others not wanting to read it.

If you do choose to read, you might want to know a little about me. You will learn a lot from what I write I think, but until I have written more than this short blog, here is a brief description:

I am a wife, a mother, a military spouse. A sister, a daughter, a grand-daughter, an aunt. A cousin, a niece. A best friend. I am a lover, a fighter, a sinner...a sinner desperately seeking my savior. I am a dreamer.

Thank you for reading.