In seven days, my baby will turn one!
I can not begin to express how quickly this year has gone by for us. It has been a whirlwind of emotions, experiences, ups and downs, the best and hardest times of my life. Even with the evil deployment though, most of it was good. After all, without the bad times you never can truly appreciate how good the good times are. Besides, now I know that I am strong enough to make it through that, and strong enough to continue being a Mommy even when I want to curl up in my bed and just cry for days. (BTW: Never could have got through those months without my dear friends here in Idaho! With my family so far away, and not believing that it is healthy to just run home every deployment, it was so nice to have my framily here to help me get through the hard times! Icy, Justin, Shanisha, Lynn, Ivy...Never could have done it without you guys!)
My "baby" ,and I use that term loosely now, has gone from this little, 100% dependent, sweet, quiet little thing to a bigger, very independent, still sweet, vocal little boy!!! It really does feel like just yesterday I was bringing him home, worrying that I would somehow completely mess up the life of an innocent human being...and now I see that I haven't been doing such a very bad job. Far from the best mother in the world, I am still acceptable in the roll. After all, my baby can walk, play, sign, say more than a few completely intelligible words, doesn't bite or hit, has only had a few serious tumbles, and seems, for the most part, to be happy.
It never fails to amaze me when he will walk across the room to give me a hug and kiss for no apparent reason, though I am sure he has one. What could I have possibly done to deserve the unconditional love he seems to bestow upon me? When he smiles at me, his eyes shining brighter than anything I have ever seen, it fills me with more joy than I can express. And, even when he is upset or sick, the fact that he comes to me to cuddle and be comforted makes me feel special. (Though I am never happy that he is upset or sick.)
Watching him with his Daddy is one of my favorite things, though I know that when they share their special grin or one on one time in the future it will probably have something to do with a great plan to bug Mommy. (Sometimes it does now.) Michael is the most amazing father! Of course, it is not hard for either of us to be parents to such an amazing son, but God really broke the Daddy mold when he made my husband! He looks at Parker like he is his whole world sometimes, and that just warms my heart from the inside out. More so when Parker returns the look. You'd think those months apart never happened.
And now here we are. A week until our "baby" turns one! It has been quite a ride! One that I would love to ride over and over again, but know that there are more wonderful rides at this amusement park called Parenthood. Fast or slow, scary or calm...I want to ride every one.
God bless, and thank you for reading!