Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Dear Bean

Dear Bean,

This is it. These are our final days, possibly our final hours, together in the way we are now. Sometime soon, very soon, you will be joining our family out here and Earth side. I am so looking forward to it, but I am also very sad at the prospect. It is never easy for a mother, or perhaps it is just me, to let go of those precious moments that only we get to have while you are safe inside, whirling, twirling, and kicking out your own special little patterns. I will miss laying there at night after everyone else is asleep feeling you dance around in your own private suit. I will miss resting my hands on you and having you stretch and kick against my palms. I will miss the bond. These moments where I am closer to you than I will ever be again. I will miss it all. 

I guess I will miss keeping you selfishly to myself. :)

But there are people out here that are so eager to meet you. It wouldn't be fair if I deprived them of you much longer. Your Daddy and brothers are all so excited, and ask after you daily. Parker and Sebastian want to know when you are coming. All I can tell them is that you will be here when you are ready. Perhaps tomorrow. Perhaps next week. But very soon.

Then life will never be the same again. You will be here, and everything I've known will change. It will change for the better, of that I am sure, but there will be so much change. I'm ready. I think I'm ready. I'd better be ready, because it's almost time.

When I say things will never be the same again, please know that I don't mean that in anything except the best way. Everything will change. It's happened twice before, in the moments that I first welcomed your brothers into the world, and everything changes...For the better. It all changes for the better. It can be scary. I'm a little scared about how you are going to change our family. My life. But I am oh so excited too!

I can't wait to meet you, Bean! When the time comes, remember, we're in this together. Labor will be only a moment in time, and then you'll be in my arms. That's when the real adventure will begin.

I love you. Forever. See you soon.


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