Monday, January 2, 2012

New Year, New Me

Another year down and a new one beginning. Another chance for everyone to make those resolutions that they don't keep and then feel guilty for...until the new year when they do it all over again.

Not me. Not this year. This year, I'm sticking to them. After all, I'm not making any promises that I can't keep. And honestly, who am I letting down if I don't keep them. It's not just me anymore. I'm not in the habit of letting down my boys, and these are for them. 

So, here we go. My New Years Resolutions: The 2012 Edition!
  1. I'm going to get healthy. I'm not putting a number on it. Weight goals just set you up for failure. And I'm sick of failure. Besides, you can be 90lbs and not be healthy. It's not about how much you weigh. It's a way of life. I need to be healthy. I need to be here for my boys for years to come, and that doesn't happen if you aren't healthy. Of course, my health isn't just in my hands with some of my medical issues. Part of being healthy for me means getting a backbone and making the "doctors" here do their damn jobs. Which brings us to number two...
  2. I'm going to stop allowing other people to determine my worth. Damn it, but I am 28 years old and have spent my entire life only thinking I am as worth as those people around me determine I am. I'm done with it. I am smart and talented and creative. I am worth so much more as a person that most people value me. And that has broken me down for a great part of my life. No more. I'm taking Me back. (Just so everyone knows, I am not talking about my husband here. Michael talks me up to be much, much more than I ever have believed I could be. He has spent years telling me that I am worth more than what others think about me, and he'll be thrilled to know I'm finally listening.)
  3. I'm going to do everything in my power to get published. I can write. I'm not Hemmingway or Dickens by any means, but I am a damn good writer. I have several books for children written already, but getting published without an agent seems to be almost impossible these days. Well, I'm going to do everything I can do get it figured out in 2012. Sure, I might sell about 5 books and make $1.50, but I'll be a published author, and that's been my dream for years.
  4. I'm going to take pictures. I have always loved photography. I was the girl with 10 rolls of film when we would come home from a vacation. it's a passion that must be in the blood. My grandmother is an amazing photographer. I'm not as good as she is, but the only way to learn is to do, and I'm going to "do" a lot this year.
  5. I'm going to be happy. It's not as easy as it sounds. I struggle a lot day in and day out to be as happy as I know I should be. I am surrounded by blessings, and in them I am happy, but I am also quick to anger, especially when I see someone I love being wronged. I need to find more inner peace and instead of getting angry when people screw me or my family over I need to look for a way to fix it and work it to our advantage. Anger doesn't get you anywhere. A clear mind can.
  6.  I'm going to get closer to God. I think I've been making this harder than it has to be. Over thinking it if you will. I've always known he was there, but I usually struggle with letting him in. (I am like this with Earthly beings as well.) I have an amazing husband who is more than willing to walk with me on this journey if I let him, and it's about time I start.
Well, I think that is enough to be getting on with at the start of the year, don't you. I could add stuff like keeping my house clean all the time and staying caught up on the laundry, but I don't want to set myself up for failure. :0) May everyone have many blessings in the coming year!


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