Thursday, March 11, 2010

2,000 Miles Too Far

Home usually seems very far away to me. All our friends and family in Ohio seem so far away sometimes. But, this is part of our life in the military, and the internet has made keeping in touch amazingly easy...but it's still hard. Especially when it comes down to my relationship with my family! We are all very close knit, and that has been strained the last few years since we left, most specially the relationship with my brother and sister! We have always been very close, but distance has made it harder for us to relate and share like we used to. I don't know what is going on in their lives the same way I used to, and that makes me very, very sad.

Today I got to talk to my brother and found out that he and his girlfriend of over 3 years have decided to break up. I was touched, because, like days of old, I was the first person he told. He talked to his big sister the way he used to, opening up to me more than he has in the 2 years since we left Ohio. I was touched...but so very sad. She wasn't his first girlfriend, but she was certain;y his first serious relationship. They had talked about marriage and a future...I was not a fan. I didn't think she was good for him at all, and I got to watch the hopes and dreams my brother had take a back seat to her wants and needs...but I still feel heartbroken at what I know he's going through right now. Worse, I am his sister. I should be there to take him out for a drink or hold him while he cries...but I am not. I am out here, 2,000 miles away! 

Adding to the good news of the day, my mother has some health concerns going on. She is not the most healthy person anyways, but recently she has started having some spots and splotches on her face and head that were of some concern. When tested they are pre-squamous cell cancer...Not melanoma, but it is a kind of cancer that tends to like to travel to other soft tissue in your body. She has another appointment on Monday...So I have to wait out the weekend to see what the doctors think. So, we wait, and I'm here. Could I do anything differently if I were in Ohio? No. But my mother and I have always been very, very close, and to be out here while she is going through this makes me feel so helpless. 

To make it even crappier, we are planning a trip home this Summer...but Michael tests for rank this Spring and they won't give him a date! So, we can't buy our tickets yet, and every day they get more and more expensive. Just a few weeks ago we were going to be able to fly home for just over $600, now it is just over $1000. Yes, you can buy the tickets that are refundable, but then if we had to refund them the cost would still only cover part of the tickets, since the price is still going to keep going up! I don't know what to do. We need this vacation home, but it seems like everything is stacking up against us at once.

2,000 miles is just too far today! 

I'm sending tons of prayers my families way today. Even more than usual. For my Mother's physical health and my brother's emotional health. If anyone wants to add their prayers too, you are more than welcome.

Thank you for reading.

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