Thursday, February 28, 2013

One Step Forward, Two Back

Doctors appointment today. Usually those are not met with any kind of excitement, but I happen to enjoy my RE (Reproductive endocrinologist), Dr. Krueger. He's that doctor everyone should have. The one who listens to you. Really listens. Laughs with you. Dotes on your children and their obvious brilliance. The one who makes you feel like you are the only person he has to see that day, and that you are the center of his entire practice. 

I am not a doctor person. Dr. Krueger isn't just any doctor. He truly is an awesome man who (whether it's true or not) makes you feel as if he cares about you and your desire to self-populate the world, Dugger style. (Disclaimer: I in no way mean that as a bad thing. I absolutely adore the Dugger family. They are seriously one of my favorite families out there, and I've never even met them!) He also makes you feel like he understands your disappointment when he is sitting there with bad news.

Today he didn't have bad news, but it wasn't great either. Certainly not what I wanted to hear.

On the plus side, the base didn't lose my blood work this time. Dr. K had it in his hands when I walked in for my appointment. (I had called ahead to make sure they had it before I scheduled my appointment. Base labs have screwed up too many times for my liking.) After the news before Christmas that my prolactin levels were decreasing, apparently on their own, and were down in the double digits, I was expecting more good news today. I was disappointed.

My thyroid has apparently lost it's mind, or is going through some kind of midlife crisis, or something. Who knows what, but my levels have gone out of wack enough that Dr. K is almost doubling my prescription to try and get them back to where they need to be. Possibly because of my thyroid and possibly just to keep us guessing, my prolactin levels have jumped up again and are back into the triple digit range. Yay!!! (Dripping sarcasm there...Oh when will they invent the sarcasm font?!)

I suppose I knew that my levels wouldn't be where they should be yet. Despite diligent temping and excessive use of OPKs on my part, I have yet to detect ovulation, which most professionals agree is sort of essential to the fine art of baby making. However, I had secretly hoped that Dr. K would take a look at the paperwork, tell me that my levels were right on the brink of normal, that I should expect my cycles to return any day, and that he looked forward to my pregnancy announcement. Yes, I knew that wasn't likely, but I had hoped. Darn hope.

On a positive note, once my body decides to cooperate Dr. K says he has full confidence that I will manage another beautiful baby. He also is encouraged by my regular, horrible ovarian cramps, saying that it could be a sign that my body is trying to work the way it's supposed to. Like an engine trying to turn over. If not, it is something else we might have to check out, though I refuse to consider the chance that it could mean that yet another part of my reproductive system is faulty. I absolutely refuse to go there right now. No reason to borrow trouble. I think my Grandmama would be proud of me. :0)

So, now I have new medication and I will go back for another fun round of blood work and results in April. I'm trying not to think about how this is the last possible month I could conceive a 2013 baby. After all, my dates and plans have never worked out just right. I know God has a plan I just can't see clearly yet, and if we'd gone with my blueprints instead of His, I wouldn't have the two amazing little boys I have now. And I couldn't trade that for anything. Not ever. I might not get my 2013 baby, but I'll have the best little baby 2014 has to offer. :0)

It was the first time in a long time I'd left Dr. K's office feeling down, but I am willing to give myself 2 or 3 days of pouting before I pick myself up and go on to the next step. And hopefully the news in April will be nothing but positive.


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