Every once in awhile I find myself looking around and feeling like I'm on some strange planet filled with testosterone driven goofballs. Life with boys is so different from life with even just one other female (human) in the house. I'm forever tripping on toy trains, socks, shoes, power shovels...I live on a pure blue planet. :0)
Please don't mistake me, I like it. I love it actually, but there are days that I just don't get it. For example, we came home from the store the other day and the first thing Parker did was unbutton his jeans and start to take them off. When I asked him what in the world he was doing he told me he was taking his pants off "just like Daddy". Yes, Daddy does frequently run around in his boxers at home for comfort. A guy thing I am sure (though I myself am usually in PJ pants at home), and one that Parker has now picked up on.
I had to laugh.
And the other day Daddy and Bubba were playing around while I fed Sebastian...and I about had a heart attack. It's as if Parker instinctively knows that there is a different way he can play with Daddy than with me. Not that I am a stick in the mud or anything, but I am more of an art project, snuggle time, reading, playing with trains type Mommy. Daddy and Bubs were playing like boys. Rough and tumble, bouncing, shaking, squealing, give-Mommy-a-heart-attack type playing. Part of me really enjoyed watching them together and part of me started mentally boy proofing the entire house for the next 20 or so years, complete with figuring out how to hang pictures with shatter proof glass on artistically padded walls. (I also realize I used 3 different names for Parker in this one paragraph. If he is confused about his identity growing up I will have no one to blame but myself.)
The longer I am here though, the more amazing I find this strange, shade of blue world I live in. I know the name of almost every Thomas the Tank Engine character, I know more about construction machinery than I ever thought I would, and I have a built in group to watch football with every week. In most ways, this is my dream world!
Several weeks ago we spent the day going to a pumpkin patch like many families in America do this time of year. Except we went on a train. Parker was elated, and if we're telling the truth here, so was I. We had a blast this Summer when we went to ride on Thomas, so I was sure Parker would like this almost as much. Not to mention, it was our first real family outing since Michael came home from his deployment. It did not disappoint. :0) if you would have told me four years ago that I would be downright giddy about a train ride, I would have been amused. Not that I wouldn't think it neat to be on a train, but they never held quite the magic for me that they do now. Now that I get to see them through my son's eyes.
I am the pink in my house of blue. And yes, I get a thrill of joy when I go and shop for my nieces for birthdays or Christmas (or just because I feel like it). It's my rare chance to slip over to the girls section of a store and indulge in everything feminine and girly. But I also practically did a tap dance when my father bought Sebastian a blanket shaped like a football for his first gift from Pa-Pa. I mean, it is shaped like a football!!! How neat is that? :0) I've always been more of a guys girl, so this roll as a sole lady amongst men is not a new one for me.
And oddly enough, it seems to have made me embrace my feminine side just a bit more. I am more aware of how I'm dressing and doing my hair. I actually bought a coat for this winter for fashion and not just functionality, a first for me. When I go shoe shopping I'm looking at something other than sneakers and flip flops, and I've put aside some of my t-shirts for more fitted tops. Part of it is because I've lost some weight and am finally starting to see a path towards what I want to look like, but part of it is the knowledge that I am the only female force in this strange little land. I need to represent. :0) In seriousness, I want my boys to look at me as a good model of what a woman and mother should be. I am by no means going to stop wearing jerseys, cheering loudly at football games, or hanging out with my guy friends, but I am also making efforts to be more of a girl, something my mother probably longed for for many years. lol! My boys have made me more of a lady, and I'm very thankful for that.
I enjoy my world. I would one day love to add a little more pink to it if that is God's will, but if not I will forever embrace being the pink in this little house of blue. A stranger in a strange land. The land I call home.