Monday, April 26, 2010

U is For...


I don't blog enough! It's funny, because I find it so therapeutic. I can't tell you how many times in a day I find myself mentally writing blogs that I never end up actually putting down. I guess part of it could be that I am worried that no one wants to hear what I have to say. That in its self is odd, since I've never really cared before...

Of course, it could also be the lack of time I find myself with. Usually my "Mental Blogs" get written as I'm changing a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer or cleaning baby poop off of whatever surface it has managed to make its way onto or falling asleep after another long day. I wish that I could wear some hat that would transmit my thoughts directly into the blog. There would be a lot more to read.

A lot is going on right now, thought not much of much interest to anyone but us. We (and by we I mean I) have been doing a ton of laundry in preparation for our big trip next week! I can not believe that at this time next week we will be in Ohio! I am so excited to see our friends and family! I am petrified of the plane trip that will come first, but I am putting my prayers in with the Big Guy that we all make it through unharmed. I know already that we won't have enough time! No matter how much we plan and how much time we get to spend with everybody it won't be enough! The thought of going home already brings tears to my eyes...but I am going to try not to think about that too much, especially since our trip hasn't even started.

Parker is learning something new every day it seems. Tonight he turned the light in his bedroom on and off all by himself when it was bed time. If I say "Let's go potty!" he will walk right into the bathroom and lift up is potty seat lid! He knows where to go when we say it's bed time or bath time. He is just so smart and such an amazing little blessing! He makes my cry daily, but not in a bad way. Every time he learns something new or does something sweet (like his out-of-the-blue Mommy kisses!) my eyes tear up. I thought my hormones were supposed to be back to normal by now...or at least, normal for me.

We have successfully weaned. I remember wondering a little over a year ago how breast feeding was going to go. It seemed like such an odd thing to me. From those first minutes together though I had loved it, and weaning him has broken my heart. Michael spent the first few nights holding me and convincing me I wasn't a terrible mother and that Parker would still want to snuggle with me even when I wasn't breastfeeding him. There was a lot of will power used not to have him nurse just one more time...but I got through it. Parker took the transition wonderfully and doesn't seem to miss it at all. I miss it, but it was necessary, and being able to breast feed for a year when I didn't know if I would be able to make is 6 weeks was amazing

I would have probably done it longer...but in order for them to test my prolactin levels to see what my normal base line is (which is much higher than most people) I have to be done feeding even though I will still lactate until they have me back on my medication. Once back on my meds my cycles will start going back to normal and my levels will inch down which will enable us to start thinking about doing it all over again! (Not saying that we haven't thought about it already, but it's not possible until I'm back on my medications.) I am not looking forward to it. I am not looking forward to the blood work (there is a lot of it) or the MRI (they make me claustrophobic) or the medication. (which makes me sick as a dog when I take it...worse than any morning sickness, flu, stomach virus...) But, it is what we need to do for our family...not just for future babies, but so I can be as healthy as I can for my son and I'll do it and somehow get through it!

All that will have to wait until we are home from our vacation though, and then the battle will start with trying to get a referral to a competent endocrinologist...which I am not sure exists in Idaho. We shall see, and I will be sure to keep the updates coming.

Parker's one year check up is on Friday, which means shots again. (yuck!) Michael will be working and unable to be there, but I got pretty good at doing it alone while he was gone. I'm a little worried about the MMR, which I had a severe allergic reaction to, but I am going to talk to the doctor about that and see what he thinks. We shall see.

God bless and thank you for reading! 


1 comment:

crisc23 said...

I hope you have a safe and GREAT time on your trip..

I don't BF but yay for the successful wean..

Doc appts are crappy, I dont ever go cause when you do they tell you bad things..

I cant believe our babies are toddlers now. I know your amazed now but just wait till around 13months - 2's CRAZY how smart and cute they become. The best part of my day is when little Heaven runs up to me , arms wide open and hugs me saying "MOMMMMY" Next year Parker will have NO baby traits at all :(